It seems the older we get, the more it feels like we’re actively discouraged from ‘wasting time on frivolous things,’ like hobbies. Unless you can find a way to squeeze some tangible use out of it or monetise it – adding value to the world.
I don’t know about you, but I have fallen hook, line and bloody sinker for that kind of thinking. And if there’s one way to suck all the joy out of hobbies, it’s by putting pressure on yourself to be perfect. So it will come as no surprise to anyone, that for many years I’ve not picked up any of my hobbies in shame. Shame that I’m kinda rubbish and therefore what’s the point? But then I saw this post on Pinterest, from a Tumblr account called ConstellatedLove:
So simple, yet it proper reframed my thinking. Because when you’ve grown up in a Somali immigrant + high-achieving household, you are taught to always use your time wisely, which is great, especially in the context of Islam. There was a real focus on gleaning something useful from whatever activity you’re doing or excelling in it. After all, striving for greatness, being twice as good (for half the reward) is the only way to survive as a black/brown Muslim woman. Your community will do its very best to equip you to get by in a society not built for you – in the only ways it knows how. And I’m all the better for it.
But there is something to be said about learning to also create things or partake in something, simply for the joy of it. Delighting in learning something new – just because. And most importantly, taking pleasure in being a bit shit.
Especially as a black or brown Muslim woman. We are always encouraged to focus on bettering ourselves in our deen and our dunya. You just need to glance around your friends to see that women are excelling at a far greater rate than men (I mean it’s why many of us struggle to get married – but that’s a discussion for another time!). I’m talking high-powered jobs, degrees, successful side hustles, or running their own business while still managing to raise their children AND all this while still investing in your beauty and deen? I need to lie down.
But this does mean that there is no place for ‘play’ – bar doomscrolling! – so there is not much opportunity to give your (admittedly incredible) mind a moment to properly disconnect. Taking the time to do something you enjoy, where you can focus on activities like painting, baking, reading frothy fiction, martial arts, gardening – whatever brings you joy while requiring your full attention – allows you a little breather. A time to block out all your responsibilities while you focus on the task at hand. It sounds so obvious but it’s not something I make the time for, or put value on.
And plot twist, because it’s something for yourself with zero stakes, you’ll be more likely to actually do it. And do it often. You’ll probably be comfortable making loads of mistakes because again, nobody cares, nobody is going to see it. With time, you’ll most likely excel in it anyway!
So not only do you get the emotional and mental wellbeing of taking time for yourself, you’ll also get pretty damn good! Reframing our mindset is mad beneficial it turns out.
Who knew?
What hobby that brings you joy will you be picking up today? Or in the near future – no pressure . . .
That’s all for now!
